i STILL donte see which part of th post is offending. i didnt make any sort of personal attack towards both of them. ok,so you may say, ive overdone it just becuz everyone reads it? tell me to laugh or cry?
As a blogger stand ,i blog what i find entertaining. If i get flame for that, then fine, tell me whats th point of blogging then. to write out th usual ;what i did today post?
i daresay, raymond is not offended by me bloggin it out. i daresay, he is offended becuz you guys purposely poke fun of him.
so donte call me up early in th morning just to do justice to you friend when you guys are laughing at it. it makes no sense. if youre not serious ,how do you expect me to take whatever you said as true.
Raymond was with u guys during th convo, why didnt he speak up?
He was so angry he carn talk?He was so angry he donte feel like speaking to me ever?
okay ,i may not know him as well as you guys do.
i ve asked for his respond from ym. she told me he was half pissed off and half uhm-chio.
so now, who do i apologize to. th guy who is affected by th post or th people who thinks what i ve done is too over?
well, me being me.
i do what i was told.
My apologies to raymond. plus post removed!
well, comment people. tell me whether my post was right or wrong.
only argue if th post didnt amuse you & it puts you off.
yours truly is very pissed off. my morning good mood is ruin. my breakfast mood is gone, while they happily chat away probably having my fav bah chor mee.
tell me how to not be angry.
HUMPH!
IM GONE!
FOR GOOD!
/*
edited
i just came home from school! yes, with a foul mood. very very foul. since i might be going on a hiatus anyway, might as well blog it all out.
seriously speaking, im really sick of being nice! i treat everyone nicely and they step all over me. !!
i closed th shop immediately when my bro was drunk so i could take him home,
i helped him cover up every one of his wrong behavior so he could still retain abit of his freedom,
everytime he comes down and find me during work,put it nicely, care for his, whats his ulterior motive, so he could cab home with me, & tell my grandma he was with me. put in a not so nice way,his just using me.
no?
well, what do i get?
i ve to fucking follow his word or FORGET IT.
i ve to bring th laptop to meet my friend at united square just fucking becuz he is heading there or i can forget about bringing th fucking laptop out.
i ve to give up my seats to him when his home although im half way thru my project so he could watch slam dunk or dota!
i ve to tolerate with all th shits he tell on me behind my backs to my grandma about me.
yes, my own brother.
that guy who calls me a slut yet benefits from me working in fusion.
i push back th whole waiting list so you could get th table first.
i charged your friends drinks like 1$$ so i have to top up th 0.5 cents.
im not being calculative here.
just think of how he treat me. & how i treat him!
can i not be sick of being nice.
i apologize for th slightest reason. or sometime for no reason just becuz i feel like im bothering someone else, so i said sorry. people call me weak,friends tell me off for being so.
do you think i really am weak?
do you think i really wont defend myself when people max my limits
recently whatever ive been hearing ,seeing and feeling kept accumulating inside me.so since im going off for good...so yea..
just two days ago,
i walked pass IT school & this bunch of @!%^%( *&^%#O (* im not going to name out that particular race ),they kept going like, FATttyyyyy fattt!! all th way till i finally walked far enuff for them to be hear. i donte know iif i was being paranoid or not, but i ve a bad feeling toward it.
then,in th lift, two small girls look up at me, they whisper into each other ears & they laughed out loud. were they laughing at me?? idk, but i ve a bad feeling.
then i walk pass two aunties, they were staring at me, then they started whispering into each other ears. the rest i donte wish to say.
how can i not be self conscious? not just strangers.
friends too! i know im not very ideal, &im not happy with it either.
but what do you know? other than calling me to keep working out all do you know how hard it is to instill discipline to go workout every night after school. th hardest part is having dinner right before it. im not complaining becuz i want to be skinny as well, but you guys are not pushing me th right way!
i really ve got alot to say.
i know all of it doesnt make sense but when anger gets th better of you.
you will realise you donte quite think well.
then past few days i kept thinking.
As if i wasnt ugly enuff,
god have to make me stupid.
i felt so ridicule today, i could have just melted down to th ground & just disappear from all of you for good! i felt so stupid.
As if i donte feel bad enuff i have to hear laughter.
yes, how dare he/she laugh.
& no there isnt a part of my presentation that is funny. i felt so dumb.
tell me ,do you know how isit like to feel like everyone had just made a joke out of you ,laugh at you.
all i conclude is i donte fucking deserve all this.
i treat everyone with due respect. i ve a speaking phobia, so i didnt expect my presentation to be good. i just didnt expect you guys to react this way.
enuff said.
will be back ,when something convince me to.
so donte call me up early in th morning just to do justice to you friend when you guys are laughing at it. it makes no sense. if youre not serious ,how do you expect me to take whatever you said as true.
Raymond was with u guys during th convo, why didnt he speak up?
He was so angry he carn talk?He was so angry he donte feel like speaking to me ever?
okay ,i may not know him as well as you guys do.
i ve asked for his respond from ym. she told me he was half pissed off and half uhm-chio.
so now, who do i apologize to. th guy who is affected by th post or th people who thinks what i ve done is too over?
well, me being me.
i do what i was told.
My apologies to raymond. plus post removed!
well, comment people. tell me whether my post was right or wrong.
only argue if th post didnt amuse you & it puts you off.
yours truly is very pissed off. my morning good mood is ruin. my breakfast mood is gone, while they happily chat away probably having my fav bah chor mee.
tell me how to not be angry.
HUMPH!
IM GONE!
FOR GOOD!
/*
edited
i just came home from school! yes, with a foul mood. very very foul. since i might be going on a hiatus anyway, might as well blog it all out.
seriously speaking, im really sick of being nice! i treat everyone nicely and they step all over me. !!
i closed th shop immediately when my bro was drunk so i could take him home,
i helped him cover up every one of his wrong behavior so he could still retain abit of his freedom,
everytime he comes down and find me during work,put it nicely, care for his, whats his ulterior motive, so he could cab home with me, & tell my grandma he was with me. put in a not so nice way,his just using me.
no?
well, what do i get?
i ve to fucking follow his word or FORGET IT.
i ve to bring th laptop to meet my friend at united square just fucking becuz he is heading there or i can forget about bringing th fucking laptop out.
i ve to give up my seats to him when his home although im half way thru my project so he could watch slam dunk or dota!
i ve to tolerate with all th shits he tell on me behind my backs to my grandma about me.
yes, my own brother.
that guy who calls me a slut yet benefits from me working in fusion.
i push back th whole waiting list so you could get th table first.
i charged your friends drinks like 1$$ so i have to top up th 0.5 cents.
im not being calculative here.
just think of how he treat me. & how i treat him!
can i not be sick of being nice.
i apologize for th slightest reason. or sometime for no reason just becuz i feel like im bothering someone else, so i said sorry. people call me weak,friends tell me off for being so.
do you think i really am weak?
do you think i really wont defend myself when people max my limits
recently whatever ive been hearing ,seeing and feeling kept accumulating inside me.so since im going off for good...so yea..
just two days ago,
i walked pass IT school & this bunch of @!%^%( *&^%#O (* im not going to name out that particular race ),they kept going like, FATttyyyyy fattt!! all th way till i finally walked far enuff for them to be hear. i donte know iif i was being paranoid or not, but i ve a bad feeling toward it.
then,in th lift, two small girls look up at me, they whisper into each other ears & they laughed out loud. were they laughing at me?? idk, but i ve a bad feeling.
then i walk pass two aunties, they were staring at me, then they started whispering into each other ears. the rest i donte wish to say.
how can i not be self conscious? not just strangers.
friends too! i know im not very ideal, &im not happy with it either.
but what do you know? other than calling me to keep working out all do you know how hard it is to instill discipline to go workout every night after school. th hardest part is having dinner right before it. im not complaining becuz i want to be skinny as well, but you guys are not pushing me th right way!
i really ve got alot to say.
i know all of it doesnt make sense but when anger gets th better of you.
you will realise you donte quite think well.
then past few days i kept thinking.
As if i wasnt ugly enuff,
god have to make me stupid.
i felt so ridicule today, i could have just melted down to th ground & just disappear from all of you for good! i felt so stupid.
As if i donte feel bad enuff i have to hear laughter.
yes, how dare he/she laugh.
& no there isnt a part of my presentation that is funny. i felt so dumb.
tell me ,do you know how isit like to feel like everyone had just made a joke out of you ,laugh at you.
all i conclude is i donte fucking deserve all this.
i treat everyone with due respect. i ve a speaking phobia, so i didnt expect my presentation to be good. i just didnt expect you guys to react this way.
enuff said.
will be back ,when something convince me to.
posted by MAGDELENE X) @ 7:34 AM
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